Reasons life does not make any sense

1. I am not Graham's best friend.
2. I am not allowed to go back in time and punch Damon in the face, repeatedly.
3. I cannot teleport. (WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT ANYWAY)
4. Amba sux.
5. I am not Batman.
6. I am not a golden guitar godlike genius
7. I am starting to like Graham's solo stuff better than blur WHATSHAPPENING
8. I have to do a CCR presentation in the evening and I am making this list.
9. According to legend, in the early days Peter used to answer his phone with "Hello, Albion Services"
10. Fleas can jump higher than 130 times their own height
11. Peter and Carlos have not made a sex tape together and put it up on Albion Arks yet.
12. I am dumb and everybody else is smrt
13. Nobody understands that I am funny and cool and just generally the sex I mean where are my groupies